Sunday, September 1, 2019
6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal
6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal
It’s trial-and-error from the get-go. And if you’re like most people, it’s been mostly error.
There’s no class in high school on how to not be a shitty boyfriend or girlfriend. Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe we read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be.
But when it comes down to actually handling the nitty-gritty of relationships, we’re given no pointers… or worse, we’re given advice columns in women’s magazines.
Yes, it’s trial-and-error from the get-go. And if you’re like most people, it’s been mostly error.
But part of the problem is that many unhealthy relationship habits are baked into our culture. We worship romantic love — you know, that dizzying and irrational romantic love that somehow finds breaking china plates on the wall in a fit of tears somewhat endearing — and scoff at practicality or unconventional sexualities. Men and women are raised to objectify each other and to objectify their relationships. Thus, our partners are often seen as assets rather than someone to share mutual emotional support.
A lot of the self-help literature out there isn’t helpful either (no, men and women are not from different planets, you over-generalizing prick). And for most of us, mom and dad surely weren’t the best examples either.
Fortunately, there’s been a lot of psychological research into healthy and happy relationships the past few decades and there are some general principles that keep popping up consistently that most people are unaware of or don’t follow. In fact, some of these principles actually go against what is traditionally considered “romantic” or normal in a relationship.
What You Should Do Instead: Deal with issues individually unless they are legitimately connected. If someone habitually cheats, then that’s obviously a recurring problem. But the fact that she embarrassed you in 2010 and that now she got sad and ignored you today have nothing to do with each other, so don’t bring it up.
You must recognize that by choosing to be with your significant other, you are choosing to be with all of their prior actions and behaviors. If you don’t accept those, then ultimately, you are not accepting them. If something bothered you that much a year ago, you should have dealt with it a year ago.
What You Should Do Instead: State your feelings and desires openly. And make it clear that the other person is not necessarily responsible or obligated to them but that you’d love to have their support. If they love you, they’ll almost always be able to give it.
What You Should Do Instead: It’s fine to get upset at your partner or to not like something about them. That’s called being a normal human being. But understand that committing to a person and always liking a person are not the same thing. One can be committed to someone and not like everything about them. One can be eternally devoted to someone yet actually be annoyed or angered by their partner at times. On the contrary, two partners who are capable of communicating feedback and criticism towards one another, only without judgment or blackmail, will strengthen their commitment to one another in the long-run.
What You Should Do Instead: Actually, you know, deal with the problem. Trust was broken? Talk about what it will take to rebuild it. Someone feels ignored or unappreciated? Talk about ways to restore those feelings of appreciation. Communicate!
There’s nothing wrong with doing nice things for a significant other after a fight to show solidarity and to reaffirm commitment. But one should never use gifts or fancy things to replace dealing with the underlying emotional issues. Gifts and trips are called luxuries for a reason, you only get to appreciate them when everything else is already good.
Mark Manson
Saturday, August 31, 2019
Setup an Additional Phone Number on an Android Smartphone or iPhone
https://www.online-tech-tips.com/smartphones/setup-an-additional-phone-number-on-an-android-smartphone-or-iphone/
Setup an Additional Phone Number on an Android Smartphone or iPhone
Use it to beat telemarketers and spammers
If you currently use your main phone
number for everything under the sun, you might have noticed that those
annoying telemarketing calls have started appearing on your cell phone.
If you have a home phone, you will be bombarded with marketing calls no
matter what, but cell phones have been mostly immune to this problem
until recently.
Unfortunately, if you use your main phone number when signing up on Craigslist or Airbnb or when applying for a credit card, the number may eventually find its way to these telemarketing companies. Luckily, you can add a second phone number to your current phone that you can use anytime you don’t want to share your main number.
In this article, I’m going to talk about several apps that basically add a second line to your phone. The prices range from free to close to $10 a month. The more money you’re willing to spend, the more features you’ll get. The paid options are mostly for freelancers or people who run small businesses from home.
In my opinion, you should start with free first and go from there until you find the app that works best for you. If you’re not running a business of any kind, then Hangouts will probably be more than enough for most people.
To be clear, you actually create a Google Voice number and then use
Hangouts to make calls and send SMS messages. The first thing to do is
go to Google Voice and get it connected to your main number. Once you have done that, click on the gear icon at the right and choose Settings.
You should see an access number for your voicemail and next to that, you will see a Get a Google Voice number link.
When you click on the link, you’ll have to choose whether you want a new number or if you want to use your mobile number. Obviously, if you want a second number, choose I want a new number.
On the next screen, you can get a number by area, zip code or city and enter a word or phrase or number if you want something specific. Keep going until you have your new number setup.
When someone calls on your Google Voice number, it will ring in Google Hangouts by default. However, you can go into the settings page on Google Voice and have the calls forwarded to your main number if you like. This way the phone will ring like a normal call.
In addition, you can record your own voicemail greeting and your name. You can forward text messages and voicemail to your email also. On the Calls tab, you can setup call screening so that unknown callers will have to speak their name before being connected to you. Google Voice also lets you record calls, switch between calls and do conference calls.
The great thing about Hangouts is that it works on several platforms including iOS, Android, and Chrome. If you go to https://hangouts.google.com/, you can send text messages and make audio and video calls from the web.
Another nice advantage to Google Voice is that you can still receive calls on your phone even without Hangouts being installed.
The only downside that I have run into so far is that sometimes the number is not accepted on certain websites, especially for use in two factor authentication. Most of the time it works, but sometimes you’ll get a message stating you can’t use that number, in which case you’ll have to use your real number. However, this issue isn’t just limited to Hangouts, but occurs will all second number apps.
As with all other apps, except Sideline, Hangouts is a VOIP app, meaning it uses data in order to work. If you don’t have a large data plan and you’re not connected to WiFi, this could cause problems for some users. Sideline is the only app that uses your carrier network to make and receive calls, thereby reducing data usage. However, it uses your cellular minutes just like when you are making calls from your carrier number.
For $3 a month, Sideline gives you a second local number with less features than Google Hangouts. You can create a custom voicemail greeting, but that’s about it. By default, the app has ads, which is annoying. In order to remove the ads, keep the number permanently and enable WiFi calling, you have to spend the $3 a month.
But even with those features, it still doesn’t offer anything on par with Google Hangouts. For example, when receiving a call to your new second number, it shows some generic number in Sunnyvale, CA rather than the number of the actual person calling. You have to open the Sideline app to see the actual number of the caller.
Sideline – iTunes App Store
Sideline – Google Play Store
The Burner app’s purpose is slightly different than all the other apps mentioned here. For one thing, the numbers are supposed to “burn” away after a set amount of time. You can get a premium line, which is the $5 monthly fee I mentioned above, with unlimited texts, pictures and minutes.
Otherwise, you can choose from a wide variety of burners, like the Mini Burner, which will give you 60 texts, no pics, 20 minutes calling and auto-burns in 14 days. You can check out all the different types of burners here.
In order to buy the burners, you have to use credits. You can purchase credits inside the app. 3 credits are $2, 8 for $5, 15 for $8 and 25 for $11. This is a great app if you need new numbers often. If you just want a single number for a long period of time, get the Premium line for $5 a month.
One interesting feature of Burner are integrations or connections to other apps. For example, you can connect to Evernote and create a SMS auto-reply bot. Doesn’t make sense? Check out the video. It’s actually pretty cool and could be very useful for some people. In addition, you can log text messages to Google Sheets or save voicemail to Dropbox.
The app doesn’t have very many features, but works well. You can also set your own voicemail greeting for each burner number you create.
Burner – iTunes App Store
Burner – Google Play Store
For a real business, the auto-attendant, toll-free number, multiple lines and after hours call handing features are a big plus. Obviously, it’s a lot more expensive and not something I would recommend unless you are trying to run a business out of your home, etc.
For me, I used a service to record a professional-sounding business greeting and then enabled the auto-attendant feature. This made a big difference in perception when my clients called in. It was way better than me picking up the phone and saying “Hello?”
Line 2 also has an excellent app and web dashboard for managing all your calls, voicemails, forwarding rules, etc. It’s a bit expensive, but the cheapest option for a business that needs some extra features.
Along with the Skype number, you get all the benefits of using Skype like video calls, group video calls, SMS messaging, screen sharing and file sharing. With Skype, you basically buy credit that you can use for international calls, international SMS, etc.
Overall, it’s really easy to get a second or third or fourth number for your phone without much work. There are a lot of options out there and the best one for you will depend on your usage scenario. The great thing is that you can cancel all of these services whenever you want if you’re not satisfied. If you have any questions, feel free to comment. Enjoy!
Unfortunately, if you use your main phone number when signing up on Craigslist or Airbnb or when applying for a credit card, the number may eventually find its way to these telemarketing companies. Luckily, you can add a second phone number to your current phone that you can use anytime you don’t want to share your main number.
In this article, I’m going to talk about several apps that basically add a second line to your phone. The prices range from free to close to $10 a month. The more money you’re willing to spend, the more features you’ll get. The paid options are mostly for freelancers or people who run small businesses from home.
Second Number Apps
There are basically only five recommendations I have for apps: Google Hangouts, Sideline, Burner, Skype and Line 2. In terms of cost, Google Hangouts is free, Sideline is $3 a month, Burner is $5 a month, Line 2 is $10 a month and Skype varies depending on the number.In my opinion, you should start with free first and go from there until you find the app that works best for you. If you’re not running a business of any kind, then Hangouts will probably be more than enough for most people.
Google Voice/Hangouts
You should see an access number for your voicemail and next to that, you will see a Get a Google Voice number link.
When you click on the link, you’ll have to choose whether you want a new number or if you want to use your mobile number. Obviously, if you want a second number, choose I want a new number.
On the next screen, you can get a number by area, zip code or city and enter a word or phrase or number if you want something specific. Keep going until you have your new number setup.
When someone calls on your Google Voice number, it will ring in Google Hangouts by default. However, you can go into the settings page on Google Voice and have the calls forwarded to your main number if you like. This way the phone will ring like a normal call.
In addition, you can record your own voicemail greeting and your name. You can forward text messages and voicemail to your email also. On the Calls tab, you can setup call screening so that unknown callers will have to speak their name before being connected to you. Google Voice also lets you record calls, switch between calls and do conference calls.
The great thing about Hangouts is that it works on several platforms including iOS, Android, and Chrome. If you go to https://hangouts.google.com/, you can send text messages and make audio and video calls from the web.
Another nice advantage to Google Voice is that you can still receive calls on your phone even without Hangouts being installed.
The only downside that I have run into so far is that sometimes the number is not accepted on certain websites, especially for use in two factor authentication. Most of the time it works, but sometimes you’ll get a message stating you can’t use that number, in which case you’ll have to use your real number. However, this issue isn’t just limited to Hangouts, but occurs will all second number apps.
As with all other apps, except Sideline, Hangouts is a VOIP app, meaning it uses data in order to work. If you don’t have a large data plan and you’re not connected to WiFi, this could cause problems for some users. Sideline is the only app that uses your carrier network to make and receive calls, thereby reducing data usage. However, it uses your cellular minutes just like when you are making calls from your carrier number.
Sideline
For $3 a month, Sideline gives you a second local number with less features than Google Hangouts. You can create a custom voicemail greeting, but that’s about it. By default, the app has ads, which is annoying. In order to remove the ads, keep the number permanently and enable WiFi calling, you have to spend the $3 a month.
But even with those features, it still doesn’t offer anything on par with Google Hangouts. For example, when receiving a call to your new second number, it shows some generic number in Sunnyvale, CA rather than the number of the actual person calling. You have to open the Sideline app to see the actual number of the caller.
Texting is free and there doesn’t seem to be any limit. If your cell phone plan allows you to call anyone at any time, then you can use your Sideline number similarly. You’ll also be able to port your number out eventually with the $3 a month plan.
Sideline – iTunes App Store
Sideline – Google Play Store
Burner
The Burner app’s purpose is slightly different than all the other apps mentioned here. For one thing, the numbers are supposed to “burn” away after a set amount of time. You can get a premium line, which is the $5 monthly fee I mentioned above, with unlimited texts, pictures and minutes.
Otherwise, you can choose from a wide variety of burners, like the Mini Burner, which will give you 60 texts, no pics, 20 minutes calling and auto-burns in 14 days. You can check out all the different types of burners here.
In order to buy the burners, you have to use credits. You can purchase credits inside the app. 3 credits are $2, 8 for $5, 15 for $8 and 25 for $11. This is a great app if you need new numbers often. If you just want a single number for a long period of time, get the Premium line for $5 a month.
One interesting feature of Burner are integrations or connections to other apps. For example, you can connect to Evernote and create a SMS auto-reply bot. Doesn’t make sense? Check out the video. It’s actually pretty cool and could be very useful for some people. In addition, you can log text messages to Google Sheets or save voicemail to Dropbox.
The app doesn’t have very many features, but works well. You can also set your own voicemail greeting for each burner number you create.
Burner – iTunes App Store
Burner – Google Play Store
Line 2
Next, there is Line 2, which is definitely geared towards freelancers and business owners. I’ve used Line 2 in the past for my local computer repair business and it was definitely worth the price. They have a personal version for $10 a month and a business version for $15 a month. You can see the difference between the two services right on the home page.For a real business, the auto-attendant, toll-free number, multiple lines and after hours call handing features are a big plus. Obviously, it’s a lot more expensive and not something I would recommend unless you are trying to run a business out of your home, etc.
For me, I used a service to record a professional-sounding business greeting and then enabled the auto-attendant feature. This made a big difference in perception when my clients called in. It was way better than me picking up the phone and saying “Hello?”
Line 2 also has an excellent app and web dashboard for managing all your calls, voicemails, forwarding rules, etc. It’s a bit expensive, but the cheapest option for a business that needs some extra features.
Skype Number
If you already use Skype, you may want to check out getting a Skype Number. The cool thing about Skype is that you can get International numbers also. Pretty much all the other apps above work only with U.S. and Canada numbers. The cost for a number in the US is around $6 a month.Along with the Skype number, you get all the benefits of using Skype like video calls, group video calls, SMS messaging, screen sharing and file sharing. With Skype, you basically buy credit that you can use for international calls, international SMS, etc.
Overall, it’s really easy to get a second or third or fourth number for your phone without much work. There are a lot of options out there and the best one for you will depend on your usage scenario. The great thing is that you can cancel all of these services whenever you want if you’re not satisfied. If you have any questions, feel free to comment. Enjoy!
Founder of Online Tech Tips and managing editor. He began
blogging in 2007 and quit his job in 2010 to blog full-time. He has over
15 years of industry experience in IT and holds several technical
certifications.
BUFFALOHAIR
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Buffalohair Universe 18'https://noveho.blogspot.com/…/financial-terrorists-of-centr…
Breaking News, Reviews & Social Commentary From Throughout The Pleiadian, Andromeda & Milky Way, Including Planet Stupid From An Indigenous Perspective...
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Breaking News, Reviews & Social Commentary From Throughout The Pleiadian, Andromeda & Milky Way, Including Planet Stupid From An Indigenous Perspective...
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Friday, August 30, 2019
10 Things Men Wish Women Knew About the Way They Think
10 Things Men Wish Women Knew About the Way They Think
Like how much they actually appreciate that flower arrangement.
Women are often reprimanded for being
complicated creatures, but the truth is that men can be just as guilty
of sending mixed signals to the opposite sex. A lot of the reasons for
why revert back to society's traditional line of thought around
masculinity — and what's deemed "cool" or not — but let's be honest:
That's no excuse. So if you've ever wondered what we, as men, really
think and want, here's a sneak peek at what we wish you knew.
1. We crave compliments just as much as you.
Some
guys may try to play it off like they don't need praise — they just
threw on that T-shirt without thinking — but anyone who tries to tell
you they don't want a compliment tossed their way is full of crap. Yes,
we thought about what you'll think of how those jeans show off
our assets. And yes, we want you to notice how the edge of our sleeves
perfectly grip our biceps. (We've worked hard to make the muscle pop like that.) These compliments
— whether they're actually voiced or delivered through a lingering
stare — remind men of what attracted you to us in the first place, it
appeals to our Darwinian sense of selectivity (meaning it's
crystal-clear why you keep choosing us over the other monkeys), and
sure, it makes us think there's a possibility of procreation — or at
least practicing the art of it.
2. And they don't have to just be about our looks.
Just
to be clear, the praise you give doesn't need to revolve around our
bodies. In fact, it's important that women commend the things that
masculinity tends to belittle, like if we're good cooks or have insightful takeaways about foreign films. Tell us when we're nailing the whole parenting thing,
if we're being helpful partners, or that you think we're caring sons.
These kinds of compliments aren't something we'll soon forget, and only
make us want to further prove that we're worth your kind words.
3. Our honesty is well-intentioned.
We know that, at times, tact can
be the four-letter word that we never learned. But many times, being
brutally honest is our way of showing you that we care. Think about it:
Throughout the day, it's common to lie or obfuscate with people you
have no interest in. The art of BS is how we get through the day. But
with you, we want to forget all that. We want to tell you why your mother bothers us
and how you can stop fighting with your high-maintenance friend. Not
only do we think it'll solve a problem (more on that below), but we also
want you to know that we think of highly of you. And mom taught us that
you don't lie to the ones who matter.
4. We really (really) want to solve your problems.
One
of the biggest differences between men and women is how we handle
difficult situations. Many times, women want to talk about what's going
on just for the sake of talking. To know that someone is really
listening to them, and is here to comfort them when times get rough. And
there's nothing wrong with that. But for men, it's our instinct to come
up with as many potential solutions to the problem as possible. Blame
the wiring in our brains, but what it boils down to is that we don't want to see our loved ones suffer. So if you just want to have us listen — and not do anything
about the problem, or offer our opinions on how to fix it — then tell
us that up front. That way we'll know to keep our traps shut and arms
open.
5. We want you to appreciate our reliability.
Similar
to why we're so damn honest, a good man demonstrates his commitment to
you by showing up. So yes, it's more than a little irritating when you
go on and on about the jerk who has mastered the art of ghosting, orbiting,
or whatever new dating term kids are throwing around these days. It's a
vicious cycle — the more men feel those guys get the benefits of your
time and attention, the more incentive we have to become those guys. And that's a lose-lose for everyone involved. Instead, smile when we aren't late to date night, or send us a text thanking us once we prove you can call at anytime. Positive reinforcement, right?
6. But don't want to be attached at the hip.
We acknowledge the importance of couple time.
We'd even go so far as to say that, in the best relationships, showing
your beau some form of love each day deepens and extends the
partnership. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't spend time apart. Going
on a hiking weekend with the boys does not diminish the bond we share,
nor does taking a few hours to workout solo or visit a store we know you
have zero interest in. Just like women need alone time or girls night with their friends, guys need the companionship of other men or time to themselves. This kind of separation will refresh our minds, give us stories to share, and bring us back to you with more spirit.
7. We love feminine touches.
While
no fair-minded guy wants women to return to the life of a 1950s sitcom,
neither do we want the elimination of the feminine as a virtue. So
don't be ashamed to hold on to those things that make you different from
us if they make you feel good. (If they don't, then ditch 'em.) We may
not always say it, but it's beautiful — and much appreciated — how much
you care about seeing flowers on the table, smelling nice, or cooking a delicious meal.
8. You can be a boss in the bedroom.
Unleash yourself. Express your fantasies. Use your hands. Suggest toys. Show us who's boss and give good directions.
No matter how you slice it, we love when you take control behind closed
doors. Not only do your explanations heighten our intuition, but we get
off knowing that you're getting off, and that's a win-win for everyone involved.
9. Seeing is believing.
Want
to know why men like sports? Pure, measurable success. At the end of
the game, no one can dispute the number of touchdowns, home runs, or
points on the scoreboard. An athlete works toward a goal and is rewarded
with concrete proof of his effort.
So what is
the irrefutable proof of a successful emotional life? The data is less
tangible. Men fear vagueness because, for some reason, it often feels
like failure isn't far behind. (And in case you hadn't noticed, we hate
to fail.) To temper that, we'd love it if you became our ally in
emotional pursuits. Tell us when we're being supportive, that it's OK
for us to cry at the Maxwell commercial,
or that you really appreciate us opening up to you about a sensitive
subject. It's basically like giving us a pat on the back, but it's the
encouragement we need to keep stepping in a more emotional, well-rounded
direction.
10. Try not to pick out the one thing we did wrong.
How important is picking up our socks if the yard is mowed each week? Does it matter that an item was forgotten at the store when we checked off the rest of the list? If the kid went to his friend's house with a stained shirt, yet still finished his science project, is there a point to mentioning it? Sometimes we forget things, and maybe it even happens more than you like, but we're human. And more than likely, we really are doing our best. So before you berate us, think about whether it's worth the argument, and try to give credit where it's due.Judy Ensing
Jun 17 · · Judy
Gilman Ensing Ann Little Running Deer An elderly widow Born in Seattle
Washington. Lives next to Springfield, MO That is in the State of
Missouri
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=Missiouri+MO&iax=about&iaxm=about
Missouri - Wikipedia [Search domain…
May 25 · · …Gift
of White Lillies by Judy Ann Gilman Ensing JAGE continued: There were
some dead Cedar trees to the side and animals had made a trail going in
under the branches. That is where Eddie headed with little brother on
hands and knees following! Groan! If any thing happened to that little
one I would be beaten for sure! So on to my hands and knees…
May 25 · · The
Gift of White Lillies by Judy Ann Gilman Ensing JAGE This Story of part
of my early Life came flooding back to me this morning! I don't really
recall? How it came up, as talking with my health aid the other day,
about bad things happening in our lives for some strange reason. This
one is about children have no idea how blessed they are, in having a
loving…
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